Mexico.

I haven't looked at that word the same since two summers ago. Now, whenever I hear or read that word, I am reminded of the crazy adventures, all God taught me, the amazing memories made, my future..maybe not in mexico..but somewhere probably overseas, and all the friendships made there. Sigh.

I just watched the last mexico video. Only one lil lonely tear made it down my cheek...but at least there was one...seeing there hard to come by! You see..the reason for the tear..is cause inside..im struggling to accept the fact..that I probably wont go to mexico this summer. My heart is breaking. At first, I was sure it was Gods will for me to go...but as time goes on..I think im starting to realize that I am the one that really badly wants to go..and God doesn't.

My family is going to the northwest for the summer. which by that time..I will not have seen all my family in 2 years. If I did go, I would have to fly from Washington to el paso, and meet up with the group[yeah, I had it all figured out], then, after the trip, I would have to fly from el paso back to Washington, then straight to Wisconsin. A couple days after that, I would have to start training to become a bus driver..then a bit after that..I would start college. I thought the transition back was really hard that last two times...if I had to immediately move away from my friends and family and start college..it would be tough..that's a hard transition on its own. Sigh.

Josh might not even be considering to ask me to go back..I have no clue..but I haven't heard anything from him yet..I know he has been praying about it! and hey..I've already gone twice for goodness sake.

So, pretty much..its probably a no go for me...but..its not to late...if God really wants me to go...He will make it happen....